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8 Struggles of Being a Deep Thinker in the Modern World

8 Struggles of Being a Deep Thinker in the Modern World

 

Being a deep thinker is a great gift as it allows you to delve into the very essence of things and be more conscious.

Still, in modern society with its materialistic consumer mentality, this constant inquiry and profound awareness that accompany being a deep thinker can be quite challenging.


Here are some struggles that only deep thinkers can relate to:

1. Feeling of detachment

In a world ruled by greed, primitive desires and material interests, where people’s intellectual, moral and spiritual level is constantly going down, it’s no surprise that deep thinkers often feel like they don’t belong here. Sometimes, you just can’t understand other people and their actions, which makes you wonder why you are such a misfit and feel like you come from another planet.

2. You have no interest in mainstream culture and popular activities

Similarly with the feeling of detachment, you don’t resonate with the interests and aspirations that are common to the majority of people and don’t enjoy things everyone loves. Those popular TV shows everyone talks about or usual activities like going for shopping with your friends and talking about clothes only irritate you. You often wonder how it’s possible to waste so much of time on the things that don’t really matter. In general, you have little or no interest in the mundane and material side of being.

3. You have a profound frustration with modern society

Whether you follow what’s happening in the world or not, the only thing is clear – you are quite pessimistic about the future of humanity. It’s all because you deeply realize that humankind is constantly moving away from the true values and the things that really matter. All this ignorance and superficiality of modern people often make you think that the human race is doomed.

4. Others confuse you for being arrogant/weird/absentminded

For the most part, deep thinkers are introverts who remain immersed in their thoughts most of the day and don’t open up to other people easily. For this reason, those who don’t know you well may get a wrong impression that you are full of yourself and are acting snobby, avoiding small talks and group activities. Some may think you are a weirdo or an absentminded daydreamer who just sits there and has his/her head in the clouds all day long.



5. The necessity to solve everyday problems can be a real challenge

You may have reflected on the questions that most people have never asked themselves and have read more books than anyone around you, but solving everyday problems can make you feel really helpless. The mundane aspects of being have never really interested you and your practical thinking skills are not that good, so you try to avoid dealing with such issues at any cost.

6. Periods of introspection and causeless sadness

If you are a deep thinker, you are probably familiar with the feeling of sadness you may have from time to time for no obvious reason. It can be compared to depression of a sort. In these periods, you are just drawn into yourself, analyzing your life or reflecting on existential issues. Nothing can really get you out of this state unless the flow of your thoughts comes to some conclusion.

7. Lack of understanding

When you have that thoughtful expression on your face, even your close ones may assume that something is wrong with you and start worrying about you, asking questions like “Is everything all right?” or “Are you ok?” The problem is that it’s not always easy to explain the cause of this mood. It may be something as simple as a book with a sad ending or a thought-provoking documentary you recently watched – literally anything can put you in deep thoughts.

8. It can be difficult to get out of your head and return to reality

When you are reading a book or are simply immersed in your thoughts, it’s like if you were traveling to an alternate reality. A real struggle is when you have to come back to the “real” world and return to your job, everyday duties and activities. This return is always accompanied by a feeling of confusion and even frustration. Remember those mornings when you are having a beautiful dream and it is suddenly interrupted by the sound of the alarm clock? This is what it feels like when you realize it’s time to get out of your head and come back to the real life.


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Most Men Can’t Handle A Deep Woman – Here’s why

Most Men Can’t Handle A Deep Woman – Here’s why

 

The deeper you are, the harder it becomes for you to find someone who wants to be in a relationship with you. You can go out on a lot of dates but at some point the relationship fails to progress any further and that is mainly because of the intensity of your depth. Not every man is strong enough to handle a deep woman. Here’s why:

1. A deep woman asks deep questions. A deep woman will probe further into your life and ask questions that you may not be prepared to answer. Even on the first date, she will dig deeper and ask personal and philosophical questions – she will never enjoy a shallow conversation.

2. A deep woman is honest. Too honest – often blunt. A deep woman takes her integrity seriously and one thing she believes in is honesty. If you ask her anything, she will tell you the truth and she expects the same from you.

3. A deep woman knows what she wants. Or who she wants. A deep woman knows right away if she likes you and doesn’t need to date around or explore her other options to be sure of her feelings. Her heart only beats for a special few people and she knows them right away.



4. A deep woman wants a deep relationship. She wants long conversations about your life, she wants to hear stories about your past, she wants to understand your pain and she wants to add value to your life. She wants a real relationship that goes beyond going out and having fun.

5. A deep woman is not afraid of intimacy. She is not afraid of getting closer or risking getting hurt in the process. She doesn’t think it will entrap her freedom or make her vulnerable. Her depth and intimacy go hand in hand and she will always cherish the beauty of intimacy in relationships.

6. A deep woman sees through you. She can see who you really are and what makes you vulnerable. She is not the one to hold back from pointing out what she sees in you or how well she can read you. Even though it makes you uncomfortable, she wants you to know that she understands you and that you can be yourself around her.



7. A deep woman craves consistency. She gets turned off by inconsistency or flaky behavior. She desires a strong connection and a solid bond and she knows that consistency is the foundation of that bond. A deep woman will not participate in the dating games.

8. A deep woman is intense. She may be slightly intimidating because she brings intensity to everything she does. Her emotions are intense and so are her thoughts. She will never be indifferent about things that matter to her – not everyone is strong enough to handle her intensity.

9. A deep woman only knows how to love deeply. If you can’t love her deeply, she will walk away. She doesn’t know how to casually date someone she’s really into or be friends with someone she has feelings for. A deep woman knows when someone can’t meet her halfway and she will slowly detach herself from anyone who is not willing to give her the deep love she is looking for.

10. A deep woman won’t wait for you. She will not wait for you to make up your mind or watch you be hesitant about her. She is strong and passionate and will not waste her emotions on someone who doesn’t appreciate their depth. Even though she is looking for a special kind of love, a deep woman is not afraid of being on her own.

by Rania Naim


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5 Types of Soulmates You’ll Meet and Love At Least Once In Your Life.

5 Types of Soulmates You’ll Meet and Love At Least Once In Your Life.

 

Almost all of us have met many different types of soulmates in our life. Some of them come in solely for the purpose of teaching us something, some to break apart our life and redirect us to somewhere different and some who pass us for the briefest of moments, yet tug on our hearts as if we’ve known them a lifetime. Each type will help you reveal the layers of your spirit, and guide you towards finding the ultimate soulmate…

The Friend Soulmate
Sometimes we meet a person and just from that moment we behave like we have known them our entire life, even if we’ve only known them a few minutes.

You could talk to this person for hours on end and never get bored. These types of soulmates actually know you better than you know yourself, which is why they are extremely important in your life. They “get you” in ways nobody else does and help you find your way through all of life’s trials and triumphs.

The Affair Soulmate
These people don’t stay in our lives forever, but they come in as a lover and typically take on the form of a really beautiful relationship for a period of time. These soulmates are meant to be in our lives for a certain period of time to teach us about ourselves and other important lessons about our life road.



Soulmates like this often stay on good terms and become friends after their relationship ends, both realizing and acknowledging how much the other person taught them. Therefore that “soul connection” lasts a lifetime even though the romantic love portion of the dynamic fades.

The Stranger Soulmate
This is always a very brief encounter with somebody you don’t know. It might be the person you sat next to on a flight for a few hours, someone you meet and spend time with one evening at a party, or as brief as a stranger whose eyes yours meet on the street and you exchange just a few words with.

If you believe in past lives, it’s typically because you are recognizing them as someone who truly is from your past.
The exchange is brief but intimate. They normally say something that you need to hear in that moment, validate something that you’ve been feeling or push you in a direction you need to go but are afraid. You know in the depths of your soul the encounter meant something even though you never see them again.



The Teacher Soulmate
Also referred to as Karmic Soulmates. A significant other, a friend, a family member, and even an enemy can be a teacher soul. This relationship can be romantic but it does not last. No matter how strong the attraction is, teacher souls do not make good romantic partners as they will never see you as their equal.

Teacher soulmates bring out the best and worst parts in you. They are around to teach a lesson, and what you fail to learn from one karmic soulmate, you will tend to seek from another.

More than often, teacher souls start as friends and end as near-strangers when their work is done. When that happens it’s best to accept the wisdom gained from the teacher soul and move on. Understanding why they appeared will help you appreciate them for what they were — a lesson, and nothing more.

Divine Love Soulmate
This is the soulmate that every one of us desires to have. And if we’re lucky enough, we will meet them and live out the rest of our days on this earth together.

They encompass all of the above… the familiarity, the feeling of having known them for an entire lifetime moments after meeting them, the intense bond and connection that never goes away, the deep friendship, and the extraordinary, enchanted, deep-seated love.

This article has been republished from Limitless Minds

 


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When You’re In A Good Relationship, You Learn These 10 Things

When You’re In A Good Relationship, You Learn These 10 Things

 

I’d had serious relationships before meeting my fiance, with a couple lasting for years. I thought I was an adult; I thought I knew how to be a great girlfriend. Meeting someone I had a serious connection with taught me that nothing I had experienced before was real. True love feels different than casual relationships – even if those relationships lasted for years (often well past their expiration date!). When you’re in a good relationship, you learn things. You act differently; you think as part of a team, not as an individual making your way through the world. You’ll be more understanding and accepting of your partner, instead of just getting frustrated with them like you may have with past relationships.

1. Misunderstandings are inevitable.
Misunderstandings are going to happen. If you take your partner’s words one way, then learn they meant something totally different, don’t punish them. Let it go. Bringing it up all the time is only going to bruise the relationship and cause communication problems later. Sometimes what you say or do will be taken the wrong way, and you’ll get frustrated that your partner doesn’t understand. Take a step back and realize it’s not a big deal. Misunderstandings are made to be swept under the rug because they’re so minor. They only become problems if you let them grow bigger and mean more in the scope of your relationship. Be laid back and forgive misunderstandings.

2. Learn to trust them.
You have to trust your partner. Why would you share your life with someone when you think they’re doing something wrong every time you turn your back? If you don’t trust your partner to be faithful, honest, caring, or anything else, then you’re not in a good relationship. The best relationships begin with a deep trust, and even if problems come up (and they will!), the trust is strong enough to keep you together.

3. Let yourselves miss each other.


You’re in love, so you want to be together all the time! It’s so fun to cuddle all night and be together all day, but when will you have time to experience different things? When you go to separate workplaces or schools, you experience things that will give you something to talk about later. When you go out with your friends and your partner spends time with theirs, you have time and space to yourself and come back to each other refreshed. You have a chance to miss each other, and it helps you really understand the value of your relationship. Missing someone is great because getting to see them after that period will make you so happy and so sure of your relationship.

4. Encourage growth and change.
In a good relationship, both partners are encouraged to grow and change. You have one life to live – you should explore it to the fullest! If you want to quit your job and go back to school, your partner should support you. If you want to try something new or go back to something old, you should find support in your relationship. And you should give this support in return. Encourage your partner to explore hobbies and interests and meet new people. If you want your partner to stay the same, you’re going to have a very boring life together.

5. Compromising doesn’t mean you’re weak.
Compromising doesn’t mean “giving in.” It doesn’t mean that you’ve lost the fight. In fact, it’s the opposite. Do you know how hard it is to compromise sometimes? You want your way because it sounds right and makes sense to you. Your partner is way off base with their suggestions. Take a step back and look at the argument diplomatically. What’s the logical conclusion? If your partner is right, don’t be afraid to say so. Accept their way, or modify both of your solutions to be half and half. The important thing is not getting your way, it’s staying in your relationship and helping it grow. Compromising will definitely help your relationship grow.

6. Admit your weaknesses.
Your partner doesn’t expect you to be a superhero, and hopefully you don’t expect that of them! We’re all human; we all have flaws. It’s ok to let these show. In fact, to have a stable, serious relationship, you need to let your weaknesses be known. Your partner will be more sensitive to things that bother you, and can help build you up in areas where you need some help.



7. Sometimes you can only accept things, not fix them.
People have baggage. You have some. Your partner has some. Can you go back and erase all of this? Nope! You’re stuck with it, and have to learn to deal with it. Some things are easier to get over than others, but the reality is that sometimes, you can’t fix things. You can’t make problems go away. You have to accept them and get over them and move on, or else your relationship will crumble.

8. Forgive quickly and truly.
Whenever you have a fight, don’t worry about who wins or who loses. Learn from the fight – from what was said as much as from how it was resolved. Once you learn from a fight, you can apply that lesson to your relationship to avoid trouble later. That’s all well and good, but you’re not done! Forgive your partner! Forgive yourself. The fight is over, you’re past it, now let it go. Never hold anything against your partner because the resentment will build until you don’t want to be with them.

9. Never expect anything.
Don’t expect your partner to read your mind, or to bring you breakfast in bed, or to offer to wash the dishes. It’s not going to happen. You can’t expect anything from anyone – you have to make it known. Communicate. Make sure your partner knows what you expect from the relationship, as well as your opinions on a wide variety of issues. This will help them act considerate towards you, but still – don’t expect anything!

10. Show your feelings.
The worst thing you can do in a relationship is play games. Don’t tease your partner; don’t “reward” good deeds with love and affection. You have to make sure your partner always feels loved. You can be happy with them or be mad at them – it doesn’t matter – they just need to feel loved. They need to know your feelings in the moment as well, don’t get me wrong. But make sure you’re showing your feelings in a way that they won’t be misunderstood (back to #1!)


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These 11 Questions Can Help You Transform Your Life

These 11 Questions Can Help You Transform Your Life

 

Have you lost your passion for your job or even your life? Maybe you've been going through the motions so long you don't even remember having passion.

If you're frustrated or bored, craving more connection, and wondering if what you have now is really all there is, it might be time to make a drastic change.

Six years ago I was stuck in a job in advertising that suffocated my soul. My doctor diagnosed me with clinical depression, and that was my wake-up call. I realized my depression was a result of a failure to listen to my own heart. As it turns out, I was avoiding my true calling. I didn't even know what my calling was, but I knew I was missing it.

So I went on a journey to discover my true self, and in the process I found love for life and for myself, and today I am living my life to the fullest. I transformed my life by finding purpose, and the journey started with my asking myself some important questions. Through my personal journey, I learned a lot about what it actually means to be fulfilled and happy and what steps we can take to get there.

1. What am I holding on to that no longer feels good?

2. What have I been avoiding out of fear?

3. What dream have I ignored, but it keeps coming back to me?

4. What in my life am I forcing?

5. What skills or talents am I not using?

6. What am I afraid of?

7. What concerns am I willing to release?

8. What am I committed to changing?

9. What can I remove from my life?

10. What brings me incredible joy?

11. When do I feel like my best self?

We have to be honest with ourselves about what we want and who we are. In this truthful space, transformation begins.



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11 Things You Need To Know Before You Date Someone Whose Love Language Is ‘Touch’

11 Things You Need To Know Before You Date Someone Whose Love Language Is ‘Touch’

 

According to the best-selling book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts there are five different ways in which people like to give and receive affection towards their loved ones. Problems arise in relationships when we don’t realize that people have these different ways of giving love. One person may feel unloved if their partner doesn’t tell them explicitly about their feelings every day while another could never hear “I love you” but be totally blissful as long as they spend hours together watching Netflix every week. If you or your partner’s love language is touch, here are some things to keep in mind.

1. There is no feeling as good as the steady, quiet reassurance of frequent tender touches from your loved one. Whether you are at home watching a movie together, at a family event, or at some mundane place like the grocery store their touch always affirms their feelings for you and your happiness in the relationship.

2. It’s not just about sex. Sure, sex is a big part of the physical touch in a relationship — but what your partner might crave the most is the casual touch that happens outside the bedroom. If you want to make them feel secure and happy and express how you feel about them, you should hold their hand when you walk together, rub their shoulders while they’re working at their computer after a long day, caress their arm while you drive somewhere. Sexual touch in a relationship is a given, but casual touch is not.

3. You partner’s needs are simple. Of all the love languages, touch is the most primal. It supersedes language and symbolic gestures.

4. The best way to end an argument is with a hug.



5. A few things you should do for your partner every day: hug them, caress them, kiss them, hold their hand.

6. The best way to end each work day is with an embrace. When your partner walks into the door from a long day at work, take a minute to hug them and welcome them home. Make a thorough transition from a stressful, sterile work environment to a loving home by showing them in their own language that they are appreciated and cared for.

7. Never, ever withhold affection to someone you care about. Is there a worse way to be rejected than someone you care about recoiling from your touch? This is something that will deeply hurt your partner, and something that will be hard for them to forget.



8. If your partner is irritable, offer them a back rub. You’ve heard the expression ‘hangry’ for when people start acting angrily because they haven’t eaten enough but it works with our other needs too. When we aren’t getting what we need, we get crabby. If you know your partner’s love language is touch and they’re running a bit hot for no reason, ask them if they’d like to relax for a few minutes while you work out the knots in their back. Often by the time you’re finished their bad attitude will have melted away.

9. We need to be kissed. Like really kissed. Often in long term relationships making out falls off the menu. Sex is more exciting, and pecks are more practical. But especially for someone whose love language is touch, deep kissing is what keeps the spark alive.

10. Sex is never just sex. For a partner who craves touch, sex is the ultimate time to check-in on the status of your relationship. Are they the one always initiating? Are they primarily doing all the touching? If you were only able to use touch, would they be able to understand how you felt about them? Take advantage of the easiest time to let your partner know you love them and fill your sex sessions with little loving caresses and touches that make them feel connected to you.

11. If you want to be the best boyfriend/girlfriend ever, learn the art of massage.

Written by Chrissy Stockton


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On Having the Courage to Disappoint Your Family to Be True to Yourself

On Having the Courage to Disappoint Your Family to Be True to Yourself

 

“It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.” ~ Oriah Mountain Dreamer, The invitation

There is something about family that makes us behave in strange ways. Something about family that makes us think that it’s okay to betray our own Soul just so that we won’t disappoint them. And that it’s okay to neglect our own path, our own happiness and our own purpose in life for their happiness.

Ever since I came back to Romania to write my book, I gave all of me to my family. Because I assumed that maybe one of the many reasons why life needed me to be back home was so that I would “sprinkle some fairy dust” on them, I immersed myself in this “family world” and I did my best to be a good daughter, a good sister, a good aunt, a good niece, and so on. And before I knew it, I lost my sense of self. I was no longer Luminita, this being who had no interest in labeling herself as a “daughter”, “sister”, “aunt”, “Romanian citizen”, etc., and no interest in placing herself in all kind of “boxes” and then desperately trying to act act according to the instructions that were written on those”boxes”, but rather someone who was more concerned with not disappointing her family than she was with being true to herself.

When you you start doing things that aren’t in alignment with who you truly are, saying “yes” when deep down inside you know you should say “no” just because you don’t want to disappoint those around you, because if you do, you “risk losing their love and affection”, and when you start acting as if other people’s happiness is more important than your own, you can’t help but lose yourself. You can’t help but forget who you are, what you stand for, and what truly matters for your heart and Soul.

This is something that happens to a lot of people. Because of the many things our families, and people in general, expect from us, and because of the many ideas we have in our heads about how we should behave in our families based on the role we play – mother, daughter, father, husband, wife, etc., in a very subtle way we slowly but surely start to lose our sense of self. We forget about what we want, what we need, and who we are underneath it all, and we drift away. Consciously or unconsciously, we start behaving in ways that no longer feel truthful and authentic to us, giving up on ourselves, our dreams, needs and desires, and becoming more of whatever the world expects us to be and less of who we truly are.



“When you give to others to the degree that you sacrifice yourself, you make the other person a thief.” ~ Iyanla Vanzant, paraphrasing A Course in Miracles

We all want to feel that we belong, that we are approved and accepted by our family and everyone around us. And even though it’s beautiful to have all of these things, it’s even more beautiful to be loved for who we truly are. It’s even more beautiful to be loved for always being honest with ourselves and those we love, for standing our ground, and for always living in alignment with who we truly are.

You might think that trying to please your family and constantly making their needs more important then your own is a noble thing to do, but if in this process of you trying to make them happy you forget how to be happy yourself, than there’s nothing noble about that. What’s so noble about betraying your own Soul just so that you can please everyone around you? What’s noble about making other people’s lives and happiness more important than your own? What’s noble about betraying your own Soul just s that you won’t “disappoint” those around you?

“For far too long we have been seduced into walking a path that did not lead us to ourselves. For far too long we have said yes when we wanted to say no. And for far too long we have said no when we desperately wanted to say yes. . . . When we don’t listen to our intuition, we abandon our souls. And we abandon our souls because we are afraid if we don’t, others will abandon us.” ~ Terry Tempest Williams

There is a path each and every one of us needs to walk upon. A journey to full healing and self discovery we all need to take, and even though the happiness of our parents, our brothers and sisters, our partners, our children, uncles and cousins matters a great deal, it shouldn’t matter more than our own happiness. It shouldn’t matter more than our own journey, our own path and our own purpose in life.



“You are the source of all purity and impurity. No one purifies another. Never neglect your path for another’s, however great his need. Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart to give yourself to it.” ~ Gautama Buddha, The Dhammapada: The Sayings of the Buddha

Shake things a little bit. Have the courage to “disappoint” your family to be true to yourself. Choose short term discomfort over long term resentment. Make the relationship you have with your Soul, your path and your purpose in life the most important relationship in your life. Seek to always live your life from a place of truth and integrity. Because only by taking good care of yourself and by making yourself truly happy, can you make those you love happy as well.

“If you are happy, you can give happiness. If you don’t love yourself and if you are unhappy with yourself, you can’t give anything else but that.” ~ Gisele Bundchen

If you want to be of service to those you love, to help and make their lives a lot more beautiful, happy and meaningful, then choose to honor who you truly are. By making your happiness, health and well-being a priority, by having the courage to stand your ground and to live the kind of life you know deep down inside yourself that you should live, not only do you give your family permission to know the real you and to love you for who you truly are, but you are also inspiring them to be true to themselves and to live their lives from a place of truth and integrity.

Life is too short to be anything but happy. Too short to live a life that is not yours to live and walk on a path that is not yours to walk upon. So dare to be yourself fully. Do the things that feel right in your heart for you. Never betray your Soul just so you can please your family, or anyone else, because if you do, no matter how much love you will receive from these people, you will never feel loved enough. You will never have peace of mind. For how can you be at peace knowing that you aren’t loved for who you truly are, but for something you pretend to be. How can you be at peace knowing that you have gained the world but lost your own Soul?


Author – Luminita Saviuc


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Waking Up Between 3-5 AM? This Can Be A Sign Of A Spiritual Awakening

Waking Up Between 3-5 AM? This Can Be A Sign Of A Spiritual Awakening

 

As human beings our bodies are full with energies that are flowing through us. We might be unaware of these energies but waking up every night at the same time is a sign from within us that we should’t ignore.

According to an ancient Chinese medicine, the energy zeniths of the body are connected to a clock system that is energizing different parts of the body at different periods of the day. So having trouble sleeping at some period of the night might be a sign that you have health problems and you need to change something.

Waking Between 9:00 pm and 11:00 pm

This is the most typical bedtime period for most people. Having trouble to fall asleep during this time probably is a sign of stress and worries from the day. Exercises of successive muscle tension and relaxation are recommended for helping you sleep. Also meditating and positive mantras are important too.

Waking between 11:00 pm and 1:00 am

Waking at this time is a sign that the gall bladder is active, which according to the ancient Chinese medicine is associated with emotional disappointment. In order to go to back to sleep you should practice forgiveness of others and yourself and also a self – acceptance.



Waking Between 1:00 am and 3:00 am

According to the Chinese medicine waking in this time is associated with the liver which is connected with emotions of anger. Drink cold water and take control over the situation that make you angry, and this will, eventually, help you sleep better.

Waking between 3:00 am and 5:00 am

Pay attention if you are waking up in the period between 3 am and 5 am, because this might be a sign that the Divine Power is sending messages to help you to connect with your higher purpose. Chinese medicine assumes that waking up at this time is also associated with the energy zenith that runs through the lungs which is connected with emotion of sadness. In order to sleep better try breathing slowly and deeply and pray the Divine Power within you to protect you and help you.



Waking between 5:00 am and 7:00 am

Early mornings are associated with emotional blockages and problems with large intestines. In order to go to back to sleep try stretching your muscles or use the bathroom. This phenomenon of waking up suddenly is called sleep inertia. We are not capable of intelligent thoughts or making important decisions because the prefrontal cortex is not awake yet.

Waking every night at the same time is a sign from the Divine Power that you need to change something. You are receiving messages about your path, and about the spiritual journey that you are on. You are here to learn and develop the best version of yourself. Being aware of your higher purpose is part of this process.

This article has been republished from Limitless Minds.com


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Study says smart people have fewer friends

Study says smart people have fewer friends

 

You’re not unpopular, you’re just highly, highly intelligent.

I used to have a lot of friends. In fact, one of my friends recently commented on how easy it is for me to make friends. This may have been true once, but I’m not so sure of my friend-making abilities these days.

I’m not very confident in my friend-keeping abilities. If you compared the number of good friends I have now to the amount I had five years ago, there would be a huge difference. I have fewer friendships than I used to.

I’m going to take comfort in a recent study published in the British Journal of Psychology that says smarter people do better with a smaller amount of friends.


Lead researchers, Satoshi Kanazawa and Norman Li, evolutionary psychologists in England, found that, while most people’s happiness increased in relation to a decrease in population density (as well has a high percentage of interactions with loved ones), people who are extremely intelligent are actually happier when they’re not hanging out with friends.

“More intelligent individuals experience lower life satisfaction with more frequent socialization with friends,” the study said.

In an article on The Washington Post, Carol Graham, a Brookings Institute researcher who studies the economics of happiness, said, “The findings suggest (and it is no surprise) that those with more intelligence and the capacity to use it … are less likely to spend so much time socializing because they are focused on some other longer term objective.”


It makes sense. Super-smart people usually have exciting new theories they want to prove, or inventions they’re working on that will change the world. The highly intelligent don’t want to spend their time socializing — they want to pursue their goals. They’ve got more important things to do than listen to their friends talk about their vacations in Italy over dinner.

The study suggests that the brains of our hunter-gatherer ancestors were perfectly adapted to life on the African savannah, where the population would have been scattered, with people living in groups of around 150. Social interaction would have been extremely important in order to survive, especially in terms of co-operation and finding a mate, but space would have been crucial as well.

The researchers believe that there may be an incongruity between the way we’ve evolved and the quickly paced lives we lead. Highly intelligent individuals are better able to adapt to modern life, and they’re not as tied to humanity’s evolutionary predilections. This means they don’t have as much of a need for social interaction.

So if you only have a few close friends and prefer to stay at home working on your writing or enjoying a glass of wine by yourself, don’t despair. You’re probably just really smart.

By Christine Schoenwald


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If You Do Any Of These 7 Things, You Might Naturally Be A Genius

If You Do Any Of These 7 Things, You Might Naturally Be A Genius

 

Did you know you really might be a genius? It’s true.

Even if you don’t think of yourself as intellectually superior, you could possess many of the characteristics shared by people of high intelligence. It turns out many people who are geniuses have personality traits, habits and behaviors in common.

If any of the seven signs below are a match for you, it is very possible you are actually much smarter than you thought:

1. You are curious about everything.

Do you continually read up on a variety of subjects, follow a variety of blogs and find yourself frequently running to the Internet to look up answers to questions that pop into your head? Do you perform little experiments to see what happens, even if they’re as simple as mixing up the ingredients in a recipe?

Geniuses are naturally curious people. They are constantly formulating questions in their minds, and then seeking out the answers.

2. You talk to yourself.

This is true. If you’re frequently teased for being caught talking to yourself, don’t worry; this can be a sign of genius.



When your mind is constantly going, you often have problems, dialogue and ideas you are working through. The more intense that process is, the more likely you are to speak to yourself or mumble under your breath.

3. You read constantly.

Many people enjoy reading. Geniuses are nearly obsessed with it.

Some extraordinarily intelligent people focus on a single genre, such as science fiction or manga. Others consume reading materials from a wide variety of areas, including both fiction and nonfiction.

No matter what your reading preferences are, if your bookshelves are full and you are constantly acquiring new things to read, you tilt heavily into the genius category.

4. You enjoy challenging your own intellect.

Do you enjoy playing logic, word and trivia games to train and test your brain? If so, you have at least one thing in common with a lot of very intelligent people.



Many geniuses work on sudoku puzzles and do crossword puzzles as impulsively and habitually as other people check their Facebook pages.

5. You are forgetful.

There is something to the idea of the absent-minded professor. Extremely bright individuals often overload their minds with a lot of complicated and intense things.

They become preoccupied with their projects and ideas. As a result of this, a lot of simple, common-sense things go out the window.

This is why smart people often enter a room and forget why they’re there. It’s also why smart people frequently lose things and forget appointments.

6. You have a checkered past.

We’ve all read about the tortured geniuses who use drugs or alcohol to cope. This isn’t just a plot device used in dramatic fiction, either.

It doesn’t take long to create a long mental list of writers, musicians, artists, scientists and other creative geniuses who have succumbed to or struggled with addiction. Some use alcohol or drugs to cope with the difficulties of fitting in. Others use alcohol or drugs because of their desire to have new experiences.

Obviously, this is a completely unhealthy thing. But if you did some past experimentation, know that it’s not an unusual thing for geniuses.

7. You worry and overthink things.

You would think geniuses would be full of confidence. After all, they’re geniuses.

The truth is, geniuses are often full of doubt. They know there are no black and white answers, and that truth and knowledge continually evolves and grows. Unfortunately, this can also lead to feelings of inadequacy and lack of confidence.

After reading this, you may be thinking that you’ve tested your IQ and are decidedly not a genius. Think again.

First of all, if you’ve taken one of those free online IQ tests, throw those results out the window. They are absolutely useless.

Even if your IQ has been measured professionally, those results don’t take into consideration multiple bits of intelligence or possible difficulties with test taking that could skew your results.

If nothing else, you can benefit from treating yourself like a genius. Engage your creativity, curiosity and desire to learn new things.


Credits: Jonathan Emmen

 

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