15 Mantras That Will Give You Strength (When You Need It Most)

15 Mantras That Will Give You Strength (When You Need It Most)


“I finally learned a big lesson. I now know I can be beaten and broken. I’m not as tough and crafty as I thought. I see clearly now what was blind to me just yesterday morning. At this point, it’s the only good thing that came out of all of this. But in a way, it’s all I need. I know myself better today than I did yesterday, and know what I have to do.”

Those insightful lines come right out of a live chat conversation I had this morning with Cara, one of our newest course members (she gave me permission to share this with you). As you can tell, Cara had a tumultuous recent past, and she’s just beginning to strengthen her mindset and rise above what happened.

If you’re in a similar situation, or you simply feel like life has been tougher than usual lately, here are some mantras (that I personally use) to help you get your thinking back on track, so you can feel better about today and what must be done…

No matter what, you can always fight the battles of just today. It’s only when you add the infinite battles of yesterday and tomorrow that life gets overly complicated.
Never assume that you are stuck with the way things are right now. Life changes every single second, and so can you.
Life always begins now – right now – not tomorrow or the next day or the next. It means you can have the new beginning you want whenever you want. (Read The Power of Now.)
The best people all have some kind of scar. Don’t be ashamed of yours.
A positive present changes a troubled past. Looking back, you do not find what you left behind.
You are not a victim. You may have been challenged, hurt, betrayed, beaten, and discouraged, but nothing has defeated you. You have been delayed but not denied. The person or situation that hurt you is weaker than you, because you’re still here. So don’t let this experience weaken you – let it build you.
Even when it’s tough, wear a smile. Smiling doesn’t always mean you’re happy – sometimes it simply means you’re strong. And you are.
When we stop feeling sorry for ourselves, we start feeling stronger.
It has been said that the highest form of prayer is giving thanks. Instead of praying for different circumstances, give thanks for what you have. (You’ll see why.)
Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction. Break this negative habit today. Talk about your joys, your loves, and your dreams instead. (Angel and I discuss this in detail in the “Happiness” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
The more you live, the more you learn. The more you learn, the more you realize how little you know. Feeling incomplete is completely normal and healthy.
Think of all the hundreds of thousands of steps and missteps and chances and coincidences that have brought you here. In a way it feels like the biggest miracle in the world, doesn’t it? Keep this in mind, and meditate on the fact that you are a work in progress, and every great success requires some kind of struggle to get there.
Sometimes, to be successful tomorrow you must be wrong today. So don’t let the fear of making the wrong decision prevent you from making any decision at all right now. At the end of your fear is the person who you want to be, one way or the other.
What’s most important in this moment is positive focus. Make the moment important and vital by doing something meaningful. It’s that simple. In the end, that’s all success really is.
Details aside, whatever is going to happen will happen, whether you worry or not. So just do the best you can right now, and find peace in knowing that you are. No further judgments are needed. Sometimes you’ve got to go through the worst of times to get the best. And sometimes the best of times come sooner than expected. :)


Worry less, and smile more.

Complain less, and appreciate more.

Expect less, and prepare more.

Judge less, and respect more.

Take less, and give more.

And you’ll begin to feel better, guaranteed.


Which point above resonated with you the most? What else do you try to keep in mind to strengthen your mindset? Leave a comment below and share your thoughts and insights.


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Why You Should Listen To Your Gut, Every Time

Why You Should Listen To Your Gut, Every Time


I see a common pattern in my medical practice. I'll get through my intake, trying to understand all the elements of my patient's health: nutrition history, check; medical evaluation, check; stress and lifestyle, check. But something still bothers me. I can't put my finger on it, but my gut tells me there's something more. Out of nowhere, a question hits my lips, and before I know it, the stoic patient in front of me unleashes a flood of tears.
There are so many times when my gut, not my head, has led my decision making, life choices, and business development. There was the time I ordered a test that discovered a patient's prostate cancer way before anyone would even think about it—I know that saved his life. Or the time a patient's name randomly hit my mind, encouraging me to have my nurses follow up—only to find that the patient was struggling. Or the time I passed on what appeared to be an amazing opportunity—to learn later that it had failed.

My gut, in essence, has built my career and my life. Here are five reasons I also tell my patients to listen to their gut:

1. You'll get out of your head.

I learned early in my life that my head is a bit too busy: too much noise, chaos, random thoughts, a new idea every moment. My gut did a better job of listening to my heart and guiding and narrowing the 50 things my head wants to do.

We need that gut intuition, which has a better sense of right from wrong.

2. You'll tap into your core.

Your intuition is connected to your core, the essence of you. Intellectually, we may want to be warriors or commanders, but the gut will recognize first that you are more of a peacemaker. Trusting your gut is trusting the core of you, decisions made by an undefined energy that may know you better than your head.

3. You'll connect to the divine.

As I reflect on my life, I maintain that the connection to a power source, call it what you will, has saved my life and built my family and my career. The stronger this connection, the stronger this other brain—the gut brain—becomes.

I think at some level your gut intuition is simply the collective energy of a higher power, advising and directing at every moment.

4. You'll find answers.

I love telling the story of one of my favorite "aha" moments. On one of my trips to New York city, I had spent the prior days struggling over a particular issue, without resolution. I finally grudgingly put the issue aside to attend a Broadway show with my children. In the middle of The Lion King, my head turned off, my gut took over, and just as Nala was meeting Simba, my answer emerged!

5. You'll avoid the disasters.

Finally, listening to your gut can help you avoid disasters. Listen to your gut before you hire, marry, choose a career, or travel. Not choosing this gut intuition is where most of our failures lie.

Listen to your gut. Stop the noise and chatter of our restless minds, zero in on what your gut is saying, and follow that advice. I promise, every time you ignore your gut, there will be regret.

Source: Mind Body Green

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This Is How You Become Unattractive And You’re Not Aware of It

This Is How You Become Unattractive And You’re Not Aware of It


Everyone strives to be a great person, kind, caring, and compassionate. But for some people, that’s not always the case. There are many behaviors or ‘bad habits’ that people have that make them seem unattractive, annoying, or someone that no one wants to be around with. A few of these harmful characteristics are offered for you below, and if you happen to realize that you embody any of them – quit! You might find your circle of friends grow once you do.

1. You are Self-Absorbed
Many people do this without realizing it. You focus solely on yourself, talk only about yourself, and often don’t care what others around you have to say. You think you’re the only one that matters. If this is you, it’s time to change. No one wants to be friend with someone who only cares about themselves.

2. You Focus on Outer Beauty, Ignoring What’s Inside

Surprisingly, true beauty comes from within your heart, body, and soul. Your physical appearance isn’t something that matters the most, but people with unattractive behaviors think that outer beauty is all that matters. Take a look in the mirror – deep within yourself – and you might see what lies beneath. An ugly person. Unless you change your way of thinking.

3. You are Always in Competition

Are you the person who has to be better than everyone else, see more, do more? If so, you’re an unattractive person. You should care more about your friends, and let them have their moment. If they overcame their fear of heights and climbed 10 feet in the air, don’t say, “That’s all? I’ve climbed 30 feet!” Instead say, “Wow! That’s awesome. I’m really proud of you.”

4. You View Your Friends as Enemies

People who are seen as unattractive are often in fights with their friends. Instead of banning together and truly being able to care for others, you’re always turning your back, and stabbing them in theirs. Your friends are not your enemies. They are your allies.

5. You Question Your Importance to Others

You are definitely an unattractive person when you constantly question why others don’t see you as important as you think they should. For instance, your two friends went somewhere without you – it doesn’t matter to them – but to you it does. Get over it. They’re still your friend, and their lives don’t stop when you’re not around.

6. You are the Boss

In a group of friends, everyone should be on an equal playing field. If you’re the one always making decisions, constantly needing to be in charge, or trying to control what others are doing, you’re acting in an unattractive way.

7. You are Dishonest

When it comes to being a great friend, or someone whom others want to be around, you need to be honest. Many people who partake in ugly behaviors are often dishonest, lying about everything, inquiring about every question asked about them, and how they truly feel about different things. Yes, honesty is the best policy.

8. You are Rude

If you’re the person that’s frequently impolite, offensive, or embarrassing your friends with your rude comments in public – quit. You’re not someone people would want to be around. There are going to be times when you don’t agree with someone, or see something you didn’t want to see, but there’s no point in making a scene, because you’re making everyone look at your terrible behavior and they’re not seeing what you’re seeing.

9. You are Unreliable, Yet Dependent Upon Others

Are you there when your friends call for help? Or are you always busy when someone needs you? If you’re the person no one can count on, that’s an unattractive quality in friendships. Similarly, if you’re the one always calling for help from others, yet never offering yours when they need it, that’s another unattractive quality that no one wants in a friend.

10. You are Always Negative
Pessimism is not an attractive quality. If you’re constantly putting things down, or seeing situations in a negative light, try and change your attitude. Nobody wants to be friends with someone who’s constantly seeing the negative instead of the positive.



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Your Soulmate isn’t who you think it is

Your Soulmate isn’t who you think it is


Mark Radcliffe thinks you should skip the supermodel and go for the one who loves you even on your worst days.

We all have our own romanticized notions of what it will be like when we find true love. How it’ll go. What it’ll feel like. What he or she will look like, sound like, act like. Even kiss like.

And every once in a while, we actually meet that person. There they are! In the bar standing next to us! Or down the hall at work! Or in the line at the bookstore!

They’re perfect. Everything we imagined. And so we engage. And chase. And pursue. And assume our very best behavior. And fight for a chance at that perfect union we’ve imagined in our heads for so long.

And sometimes it works! We get their phone number. And a date! And a second date! And sometimes it even goes a month or two!

But then at some point, it runs afoul. What once seemed effortless becomes arduous. The perfect conversations suddenly don’t flow as easily. The shine has worn off the apple. It’s work, now. And who has time for that?

And here’s where many a relationship come to an unfortunate end. Because the other person thinks it should only be constant magic. That anything else is merely a false symbol.

But we still chase them! We want it back! We think of what we can do to possibly salvage this sinking ship. Should we change ourselves? Adjust our behavior? Change our whole personality? After all: this is love. Surely it’s worth sacrificing for, no?

No, I’m here to say. It’s not.Because there’s a big, horrible idea out there in the world of romance:That if it’s not hard, it’s not real.

True romance must be earned, we believe. Struggled for. Barely survived.

If it comes easy, it’s wrong. Shallow. Too simple.

We must suffer for love. We must cry with certain regularity. Lose our faith time and time again only to barely regain it again.

I humbly submit that such a belief is the romantic equivalent of 100% grade-A bullshit.

Perhaps it comes from our culture’s puritanical beginnings. The notion that anything great is worth suffering for.

And while I agree that love takes work, patience and forgiveness, I don’t think it should involve perpetual, ongoing damage-control.

If the relationship you’re in takes constant, ongoing acrobatic maneuvers to keep it afloat, then it’s not a relationship; it’s a doomsday project.

Relationships, in general, should be easy.

If they’re taking a ton of work, a ton of the time, something’s wrong.

Chances are either that:

A) One (or both) of you is not a stable enough person to even be in a relationship to begin with, and you need to go off on your own to learn how to keep yourself perfectly happy with nothing more than yourself to sustain you. (And yes, I’ve been this person many times.)

B) One of you has unrealistic expectations of what the other is supposed to provide them on a regular basis. (And yes, I’ve been this person, too.) They think you’re supposed to keep them constantly entertained. Or wined and dined. Or sexually pleasured. Or emotionally rescued. Or financially bailed out.

Neither of which is sustainable.

Which is why I say the following:

Don’t chase the person you can barely hold on to when you’re at the top of your game.

Seek out the person you can be happy with even when you’re having a bad day. Or week. Or month.

Because those days will happen, many, many times over the course of a relationship.

And the person who’s only happy with you when you’re a superhero will not stick around when you finally become a mortal again and need them to be there for you, instead.

So skip the supermodel. The pursuit of your own personal Jessica Alba or David Beckham. It might be heaven for a week or two, but they’d probably dump you as soon as you failed to be the emblem of perfection for more than 2-3 seconds in a row.

That perfect pairing with the Mister or Miss Right we’ve all imagined in our hearts isn’t going to survive the endless ordinary days that real life is fraught with.

The person who’s truly right for you is probably cleverly disguised as the one you work with every day. Or the one who you’ve casually known in your circle of friends for five years. Who has seen you at your best and at your worst. And is still there, a big believer in your immense potential. And is probably an amazing kisser if you’d just give them a chance.

That’s the person it’s going to be genuinely easy with over the long haul.

So the next time you’re looking for the one, don’t look up on some stage or pedestal for some shining realization of your fantasies. Turn around and look behind you. At the person you might have overlooked. The person who is quietly everything you need them to be and more.

You just have to give them a deeper look.


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3 Anywhere, Anytime Techniques For Cultivating Happiness

3 Anywhere, Anytime Techniques For Cultivating Happiness


Back in 2005, my friend Marci and I decided we wanted to learn how to meditate. She had found a class in a nearby town. I was a bit nervous. I didn't know what to expect. Would I have to sit in silence with my thoughts for an hour?! The thought was terrifying. We got some seats and I ran to the restroom before the class started.

As I was walking from the restroom through the auditorium area, a man stood at the entrance door down a little ways. He smiled at me, and I at him. Without saying anything, in my mind we had a whole conversation.

Turns out the man standing in the doorway was the teacher of the class. Little did I know he would be guiding a meditation at my wedding five years later.

To tell you the truth, I can't remember the specific topic of that first class. I remember it started with about 15 minutes of guided meditation and that afterward, I felt more peaceful and happier. Then we discussed the idea of perception versus reality—how we see things from our own point of view, but nothing is fixed. We all are choosing how to perceive our reality, and every moment we can choose how we will act or react.

I felt like the whole talk had been written just for me. The classes have helped me shift my perspective and open my heart to others. I learned what true love really is, how to be compassionate, and how to cherish others more than myself. Don't get me wrong, I still have a long way to go.


But ultimately, meditation has taught me invaluable tools for inviting happiness into my life. How do you keep from losing it when you feel like you have one nerve left and someone's about to jump on it? Here are three tips to connect with your inner wisdom and bring peace and happiness into your heart.

1. Breathe.

You've heard it before, but it's worth repeating. If we focus on our breath, we can’t actually devote our attention to that thing that got us all wound up in the first place. Try it now. Bring your attention to the inward and outward pull, the sensations at the tip of your nose and in your rib cage. Notice how concentrating just on the breath causes your stress to fade into the background. Then begin to use your breath to breathe out anything you want to let go of—negative thoughts, worries, physical pain, or tension in the body. The breath is the closest thing to a magic bullet we mere mortals have.

2. Pay attention to your distractions.

It sounds counterintuitive, but using distractions as a tool can really help focus. You might think you can't meditate because your mind is so busy you get distracted easily. Instead of getting upset when thoughts come up or our attention goes somewhere else, we can now use these AS our meditation.

Leverage these distractions to bring more peace to your mind. For instance, the noise of a car going by, people talking in the next room—bring your attention to each as they arise. Watch the old distraction dissolve as the new distraction comes into your awareness. Doing this for just a few minutes can have a powerfully relaxing effect on you.

3. Visualize peace at the heart.

This is a very powerful healing technique. On your inhalation, visualize white light in the aspect of inner peace filling your heart. With each inhalation, visualize the peace expanding beyond the heart center until it fills your entire body. Continue imagining this peace growing to fill the room, your home, your city, and so on. The sky is the limit.

Don't grasp at results. Some days we will experience beautiful peace in our heart, and other days our practice might feel less inspiring. It’s important to be gentle with ourselves and keep practicing. When we’re teaching a baby how to walk, do we get upset and yell at them when they fall down? No, we help them get back up. Just keep trying.

Source and credit: Mind Body


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Signs You Have A Strong Personality That Might Scare Some People

Signs You Have A Strong Personality That Might Scare Some People

When people encounter someone with a strong personality, they don’t understand the kind of person they are dealing with.

Some people think you dominate. Some just think you are rude. But none of these are the truth. These words actually do not reflect your personality at all. In fact, strong people are often kittens on the inside. It’s just that people with domineering personalities just give you a bad rep.

Strong people do not have to win, they just are not willing to let other people walk all over them on the outside.

Sure, some people might be afraid of you. But that is only because they do not understand how you can be so comfortable with yourself that you do not need anyone else to validate you.

Here are eight signs that you have a strong personality that might scare some people.

You Don’t Put Up With Excuses
Strong personalities do not put up with excuses. When you have a strong personality, you’re not willing to listen to people waste time whining about what they can do. You would rather focus on what you can do and how you can overcome obstacles to do more.

Don’t question yourself for not making excuses. There might be a lot of reasons that you can’t do something but there are more reasons that you can.

You Are Careful About Who You Let Into Your Life
As a strong person, you do not rely on other people to tell you who you are, what you are or what you can do. You recognize that some people need to do that to make themselves feel better. You also recognize that some people need to hear these things to feel whole.

Even if you don’t yet know exactly who you are, you know that you do not need a boyfriend, girlfriend, boss, best friend or family member to tell you what you’re capable of. You can figure that out on your own.

You Hate Small Talk

Small talk is terrible. If you have a strong personality, you have a lot of ideas. You do not want to waste time talking about people when you could be changing the world.

You might feel like you are bad at small talk. But that is not true. Anyone can make small talk using free Arabic fonts. What you’re feeling is a discomfort because small talk wastes time and brain cells.

You Can’t Stand Insensitivity, Idiocy or Ignorance
Dominating personalities come from a lack of influence or knowledge. Strong personalities are the result of being thoughtful and well-informed. There is a huge difference between the two.

Because you have put time and effort into using your brain for good, you hate it when people make instant judgements about things they do not know anything about. This is probably your best quality but not because you can use your knowledge to influence people. It is because you can use it to encourage people to actually think about what they say before it falls out of their mouth.

You Know How to Listen

People with strong personalities know how to listen. You might think that people would appreciate this. But in reality, being heard and encouraged actually terrifies people who are not used to it.

You Do Not Need Attention
Having this type of personality means that you do not need attention. Most people that you encounter think that you thrive on it but this is not the truth. It just that your personality attracts people to you. The amount of socializing you do is not because you want to do it but because people need people like you around.

Despite this perception, you still need time to recharge. Don’t be afraid to take it. It is just as important to take care of yourself as it is to take care of other people.

You Are Fearless

Okay, this one is not true. There is probably one thing that you are afraid of. But the difference between you and other people is that you do not let this fear dictate the way you live your life.

You Take Insecurity As An Opportunity
Insecurity for you is an opportunity to do better. You know you’re not perfect but if you are not trying to learn and evolve, despite the risk of looking like a fool, then you are not living. You are just existing.

They say everyone is insecure and this is probably true. But not everyone has to stop this insecurity from letting them live their life and own the things that they are insecure about.

Sure, some people think that people with big personalities are difficult to be around. But you’re only difficult to be around because you challenge other people to be the best version of themselves! If this is what being difficult is like than you already know that it is best to just keep being you.

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12 Signs You’re Disrespecting Yourself (and How to Stop)

12 Signs You’re Disrespecting Yourself (and How to Stop)


by LJ Vanier,

“How people treat other people is a direct reflection how they feel about themselves” – Paulo Coehlo

Every relationship we have, can be viewed as a reflection of the relationship we have with ourselves and setting the tone for the right relationships, lies heavily upon us. By trusting ourselves, listening to our own thoughts, feelings and emotions, we become more authentic and this gives us the wonderful opportunity to become comfortable in our own skin. Yet, when we are not comfortable with who we are, we project onto others, what we cannot accept of ourselves.

12. You are “judgy”.

“Life is a mirror and will reflect back to thinker what he thinks into it” – Ernest Holmes

Remember that each time you lash out against someone, whether it is behind their back or to their face, you are meeting an aspect of your own shadow. So turn those words back around, because what you just said, is exactly what you need to heal, accept and alchemize within you. Tongue lashing someone with crude remarks is a sure sign that you’re not comfortable in your own skin; you’re too hard on yourself and you lack self-acceptance. When we judge others, not only are we bringing forward an aspect of ourselves, we are unknowingly hurting someone else, based on our own perception of the world in how we see others.

11. You seek validation from others.

We seek attention and validation from others when there is something missing. A void that needs to be filled, and without the proper tools and the introspection to understand and alleviate the cause, we search for an external reaction. You are the cause and the reaction. What you seek in the world is already within you, you already know the answer because you asked the question. Measure yourself by your own standards and set the bar high because you’re worth it.

10. You put yourself last.

Doing things for others can bring us joy and satisfaction, but there is a sacred selfishness that we can’t afford to ignore. When we over-indulge in giving our time, our energy and our good nature, we may think that there’s no harm but be warned, like a car we can’t run on empty and we all need a refill.

9. You repetitively do things you dislike.

Whether it’s a job, a lifestyle or a relationship, continuing on in the same energetic cycle that doesn’t serve your higher good is not only unhealthy, it can cause mental and emotional conditions such as anxiety and depression. If you find yourself feeling like you are stuck on the rat wheel, you already know its time to get off. It will not do you any good now or later, so trust that something better will be waiting for you around the next corner, and it will.

8. You’re angry.

“Anger is a sign that something needs to change” – Mark Epstein

What is anger? where does it come from? and why does it have the ability to boil our blood so much!

A face of the ego, anger can come knocking for a variety of reasons. Anger is a sign that you aren’t satisfied with your current situation, whether it be emotionally or psychologically. To be plain, your basic needs are not being met and your ego “I” is letting you know loud and clear that you need to serve yourself a little better.

7. You let others have too much say in your life.

“Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?” -Danielle Laporte

Whether its our parents, our friends, coworkers or our bosses, we are always getting advice from somewhere, (whether we are asking for it or not is a different story.) The point is to entertain a thought without accepting it. Feel for yourself if what you are being told resonates with you, the real you, the child that has hopes and dreams for itself. Be mindful of what you allow into your decision-making, this is your life and you are the only one living it.

6. You tell white lies.

Even the smallest fib, is a reflection of your own self-confidence. Never lower yourself to try to impress someone else. Be you, be real, you are enough just as you are. Anyone who can’t respect the truth, isn’t worth your time.

5. You mask your emotions.

Since I was young, I have always viewed feelings and emotions as separate. I understood that my emotions were based on instances where I had been hurt or wronged and transgressed due to often confusing and difficult times in my life. Whereas my feelings were much different in that they were a clear inner knowing of who I truly was, what I supposed to do and served as my guidepost of light in the darkest of times.

Too often though, I see others unable to differentiate between the two and choose to mask everything that they are feeling due to the inability to comprehend, or the fear of what they might find buried and hidden away in the hidden closets of the mind.

In an attempt to drown emotions, we flush away our elevated instincts (intuition) by use of alcohol, drugs, cigarettes and anything else that can be used as a distraction, keeping us from dealing directly with what is at hand. And the greatest tragedy of the matter, is that when we chose to forget the bad, we also forgot the good.

4. You can’t take the bad with the good.

You can’t add anymore water to your cup if it is already full. When we are unable to release past experiences, by working through them emotionally, psychologically and spiritually we feel like we just can’t take another bad, or we think to ourselves, “if anything else happens I just can’t take it”. Naturally, we seek out the fun-filled aspects of life and negate all responsibility. Quite often, this is known as a mid-life crisis. It’s all of things that we’ve been avoiding for so long and they will always at some point work their way forward. Whenever we are ready to stop running and surrender to our own pain and suffering, we can release its hold on us and we are ready to take on anew. Empty your cup.

“it is my solemn declaration that the entire purpose of suffering is to awaken the soul”

3. You’re hard on yourself.

It is my personal belief that self-acceptance and humility fall hand in hand. While there are many people who believe that we all make mistakes, I am not one of them. That is to say, we are perfect just as we are. If someone is going to keep score– stop. Life is about learning and growing, not tallying our karma, and when we can forgive ourselves for the things we didn’t know then, that we know now, we ascend into love and acceptance of self and release the burden.

It’s a weight you’ve been carrying too long, drop the bag.

2. You don’t trust your intuition.

We all have instincts. A flash of insight or an inner voice that guides our decision-making process, but it is your choice whether or not to listen. Make the one that serves you first.

1.You’re not following your heart.

Your heart knows long before your conscious mind has had time to process your feelings. You will always get a soft nudge, an internal knowing, whether you should or should not proceed in any of life’s situations. Yet, it is common that this nudge is overlooked; usually buried by emotional triggers of the brain, that cloud the mind, and steer you off course. It usually why it said that we should never make a hasty decision, and it is dead on. Always give yourself the time to separate your feeling or inner knowing from your emotions and once you have, trust yourself. Trust your instincts and trust in knowing that in life and in love, it always finds a way.

by LJ Vanier

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Tap Into Your Sixth Sense With These 4 Intuition-Building Practices

Tap Into Your Sixth Sense With These 4 Intuition-Building Practices


Everyone possesses the power to connect to their intuitive side.

Here are four helpful tips for activating your sixth sense, connecting to your guides, and tapping into your psychic channels:

1. Open your mind.

There's a wide range of guided meditations that can help you connect with your intuitive side. Do some poking around online or in a New Age bookstore. The key is to find a guiding voice that makes you feel settled and connected—definitely not one that irritates you (which can be harder that it sounds!). Open your ears to hearing, and start the conversation with your intuition.

2. Plug in.

Think of your intuition as a power source. Ever had a particular song pop on the radio at a perfectly serendipitous moment? This is your intuition personalizing your programming from the spirit realm. It can pay to think of these moments that catch your attention as clues from your higher self. Even the present moment may have a secret hidden within, so start learning to plug in and pay attention!

3. Connect through crystals.

Tarot cards have long been used as tools to connect to the spiritual, intuitive realm, and pairing these cards with crystals can magnify their otherworldly effects.


Clear quartz is essential for cleansing your tarot deck and maintaining a positive energy during a card reading. Moonstone has long been associated with psychic abilities and channeling, so it's a handy stone to keep with you during a reading as well. I wear a moonstone ring and bracelet during readings, so the stones are always touching me as I connect to my cards. Amethyst is also associated with our higher self—it helps open our communication channels with the spiritual realm and is handy for anyone looking to develop an intuitive skill set.

4. Connect through aromatherapy.

Aromatherapy is also a powerful tool used by modern mystics and ancient healers. When placed on the skin or diffused into the air, these oils can help you stay grounded during your meditations.

Rubbing lavender oil (be sure to dilute with water or a vegetable oil first if the label calls for it!) into the center of your forehead, between your eyes, helps open your third-eye chakra center—your direct line to the spiritual realm. Other oils associated with opening and supporting the third-eye and crown chakras include rosemary, juniper, and thyme. Adding these scents to your spiritual practice can provide a powerful dimension to your psychic experience and help you further connect with your channels.

The more awakened and aware you become, the more messages and intuitive clues you'll receive on a daily basis.


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To the Guy Who I Thought I Would Grow Old with

To the Guy Who I Thought I Would Grow Old with


“A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master…”


Our hearts kept it simple.

I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once. I don’t really know when it exactly happened, but somewhere in between our intense eye contact and wiping my tears away as my walls came down that I spent years crafting, I crashed into you fully and never looked back.

My heart was unguarded, and I gave you all of me. We didn’t just hang out. We played. Our souls were alive – we were like two little kids again seeing the world for the first time – being with you multiplied all the good in life and changed me forever.

But our minds were another story.

We were complicated people, you and I. We weren’t simple. Our minds were analytical and imaginative and we thought about everything. A lot. We ended up making every situation in our life about 100x more difficult than it had to be.

We argued a lot. I fought with you at inopportune times, but my anger was fueled by my passion and emotions for you. I cared. I loved you. I loved all of you. I loved that I was the only one you showed certain parts of yourself to, you gave me all of you.

I wiped your tears as you spoke about your family, there’s nothing in this world I loved more than holding your hand and whispering words of reassurance in your ear, because I knew you weren’t broken, you were just bent. And I loved all your edges, all your roughness. Your imperfections were perfect to me.

I challenged you because I loved you.

I confronted you a lot. I’m not the type of girl who nods and laughs and is always comfortable, I wasn’t easy — as in, I didn’t just “go with the flow.” But that’s because I craved more from you – I had opinions and big dreams for the future, I wanted the best for you. I never put up with not getting everything I deserved.

I never let you get away with slacking on your talents or putting in effort towards our relationship because I knew what we had. And you were never left uninspired or unsatisfied.

You broke my heart.

Not too long into our magic, things started to turn. The fireworks combusted, leaving us burned and confused. We wanted it so badly that we thought there was a logical solution to working out our differences. But there wasn’t.

The truth is, you just weren’t ready. Your past, your demons, whatever the reason was, you started to push me away. You loved me in a way I have never been loved but you still weren’t ready. And that was the hardest thing to accept.

I knew I had to let go. Because you never ever have to convince or inspire someone to do the work to be ready.

There are many things I never thanked you for.

I thought I couldn’t live without you, but my heart is finally starting to beat again. You broke my heart open and new light got in, you made me so desperate and out of control that I had to transform my life, and I did.

I thought I would grow old with you, but sometimes, life has other plans. That doesn’t mean I ever stopped loving you. When someone touches your heart, they will infinitely be there.

I had so much anger and pain, it was gnawing away at me, slowly destroying me. But then I realized that our love wasn’t the kind that results in the fusing of two lives into one, it was the kind of love that gave me new life, that taught me much more than a happily ever after ever could. And I don’t regret a second of it.

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An Open Letter To The One Who Took Me For Granted

An Open Letter To The One Who Took Me For Granted


It’s unfortunate that I’m having to write this. It means I lost someone that I cared for deeply.

I’m not one to get too personal but this has been a long time coming. Love -- it’s a mysterious thing. You think you know who you’re going to fall for, but it doesn’t quite work that way. The one you fall for the hardest always comes unexpectedly.

That’s what you did. You came out of nowhere.

At first you were just like any other guy. But soon after, it was like a spark ignited. Gradually the flame between us grew stronger and stronger with each day. Slowly and surely, you turned into the one. The one who was on my mind every minute of every day. The one who made me light up just by walking into the same room as me. The one whose smile literally brightened up my world. The one who could make my days better with just one simple phone call or text message.

The one who I was sure I would be with the rest of my life.

You were my happily ever after, and I was convinced I had found my knight in shining armor. I found you handsome, charming and unique. I admired you, your flaws and your dreams. I defended you, respected you and appreciated you. I fell in love with everything about you.

While some fairy tales end with happy endings, mine did not.

You took me for granted. You didn’t see the little things. You couldn’t see the look of disappointment when I received a message or call that wasn’t from you. You didn’t know that I waited for those 3 a.m. calls from you to bring you home, because I always knew they were coming. You didn’t hear me defend your name when others talked down on you. You couldn't feel the way my heart skipped a beat when I saw your smile. You didn’t notice how much I loved watching you get excited about a story you were telling me.

While you stayed on your phone, you didn’t notice that I never touched mine when I was with you. You couldn’t feel the joy I felt every time I heard your voice. You didn’t see how time stopped for me when I was with you. You didn’t realize I was there for you whenever you needed anything.

I was there through some of your worst days and some of your best ones. As hard as I tried, nothing was ever good enough. You couldn’t see the bigger picture. You couldn’t see me.

Instead, you destroyed me.

I believed the best in all situations. It’s hard to find true optimists these days, but I was one of them. I was just an innocent girl in love with the idea of true love. I still believed in fate. I believed if I wished the same thing on every shooting star that it would eventually come true. I believed in miracles. I believed that every person had a good side, even if they didn’t show it. I believed that Friday the 13th did indeed bring bad luck upon people. I believed in finding the beauty in everything. I even believed in aliens. I was a believer and I believed that, for once, I was actually living the life I always dreamed of.

Instead, you turned into my worst nightmare.

You built me up just to tear me right back down. You made me feel like I wasn’t good enough for anyone. To the point where I would question my own self worth. For the longest time, you made me blame myself when it was you all along. You abused the love I had for you. You filled my head with lies and you lead me to believe you actually cared about me. As much as I believed you would change and as hard as I tried to fix it, in the end you defeated me.

The sorrow I felt did not just last a few days. The pain never just magically went away. The agony lasted for many months up to years and counting. Over those years I've spent many late nights thinking about what was and what could have been. My pillow has been flooded with tears and my mind has been overwhelmed with flashbacks of all the memories we had. For a while, I felt as though I wouldn’t recover. I felt as if I had lost my mind and gone insane.

In the end, I was the bigger person. I learned to accept the truth that you wouldn’t tell me and it’s made me stronger. It might sound crazy but this I thank you for. It’s taught me not to let my guard down even for a second. I now think twice before every decision I make. I have the lock on my heart stronger than it was before. I know that people will try to manipulate me but I won’t let it happen anymore. I won’t settle for anything less than what I deserve. If you look deep into my eyes you can see how broken I have become, but you can also see how with time the pieces come back together. The scars I have are proof that I am healed and I have survived. They've made me value love and relationships even more than I already did before. The scars are not a flaw, they are a strength. Because of you I have become a stronger woman, and for that I am forever thankful.

One day you’ll look back and realize my worth. You’ll finally see me and all the big and little things I did for you. You’ll see me with another guy and, as hard as you try not to let it bother you, it will. You’ll think about how at one time that guy was you and, if only for a moment, you will feel regret. You’ll see how strong I have become and feel guilty because you were the cause of it. You’ll realize that all along you actually cared for this sweet optimistic girl. You’ll realize that the whole time you were pushing me away, I was the girl you should have been fighting for.

You might have defeated me then, but I have defeated you now. Not only did you lose the fight, you’ve completely lost the girl that loved you unconditionally.


The girl who used to love you

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